Community Care
Consent is Cool
PICD is always committed to cultivating a safe, inclusive and affirming space for everybody.
We're enthusiastic about consent so dancers of any level of experience and from every background feel safe and accepted.
Our community care and behavior policy helps our community events be a fun and comfortable experience for all!
We want you and everybody at Our Dances to feel …
Empowered to communicate openly and directly
Confident expressing your needs moment to moment
Safe, respected, and self-expressed
In control of your own body at all times
That you create every dance in partnership with your partner and neighbors, inviting others to create with you
That you are valued and listened to member of this community
What is Consent, Anyway?
Consent is is when someone agrees, gives permission, or says "yes" to an activity with another person.
Consent doesn’t have to be verbal, but verbally agreeing to different activities can help you, your partners, and your neighbors on the dance floor respect each other’s boundaries.
The clearest way to get consent is ask. What dance role would you like? Would you like a twirl? Is this ok? Would you like to swing faster?
Getting a verbal yes or no before taking an action helps you be a better, more kind dancer.
Consent is about communication. And it should happen every time.
Giving consent for one activity, one time, does not mean giving consent for increased or recurring contact or for certain behaviors. For example:
Agreeing to engage in twirling flourishes with a dance partner doesn’t give that person permission to dip you.
Holding someone in a close embrace at one dance with their permission doesn’t give you permission to pull them close again in the future.
Tips for Safe Dancing
Ask Before Acting
Avoid making assumptions, even based on past behaviors or past consent given.
Ask a dance partner what role they would like to dance, and come to agreement instead of assuming.
Take people at their word and accept a no.
Use a gentle touch and share your weight with others to collaborate while dancing. Avoid squeezing, forcing, or having others hold you up.
Don’t twirl or dip a new dancer or someone from whom you haven’t gotten permission.
Always ask before leading twirls and dips using language like, “Do you want twirls?”
Shake off mistakes—be generous with others!
Share Your Needs
Volunteer your preferences and needs, such as, “I’m dizzy. I need to slow down.”
Say “no”, “stop” or “I don’t like that.”
Use physical queues to express your needs, such as holding your arm down when a twirl is offered to indicate a “no,” stepping back, or shaking your head “no.”
Ask for help when you need it. You can ask an experienced dancer for feedback or support, or you can find an organizer.
If something weird or uncomfortable happens, find an organizer and let them know. They will take you seriously.
It’s ok to remove yourself from the situation by leaving the dance floor.
Don't be a jerk
Respect the needs of others. Don’t be a jerk.
Avoid things like:
❌ Not taking “no” for an answer.
❌ Assuming a past “yes” means a current “yes.”
❌ Pressuring someone to dance or to dance in ways in which they are not comfortable.
❌ Pushing another dancer around on the floor or otherwise forcing their movement.
❌ Yelling at or reprimanding others.
❌ Ignoring body language or other clues (looking away, walking away, clipped responses, etc.) that tell you a conversation is over.
❌ Being grumpy about mistakes.
Good to Know
WE’RE ANTI-JERK Come to Portland Intown Contra Dance ready to be awesome and respectful to everyone. If someone complains to an organizer that someone else is being a jerk, one of our organizers will talk to that person about it. We reserve the right to ban jerks from our dance for being jerks.
WE CHERISH OUR HALL Outdoor shoes are not allowed on the historic dance floor, so you’ll be asked to change dance with bare foot, in socks, or in clean, indoor-only shoes.
SCENTS STINK Some of our dancers are highly sensitive to smells. Do your best to avoid being the source of strong scent (perfume, cologne, body wash/shampoo, body odor, smoke).
INTOXICATION ISN’T COOL Consuming alcohol, drugs, or other intoxicating substances before or at our events can be dangerous, so please avoid it. Contra dance involves spinning around in circles a lot, so it's just a bad idea to dance tipsy or high. If we notice you’re under the influence, one of our organizers may ask you to leave and come back sober next time.
PHOTOGRAPHY IS EXPECTED Because these are public events, dancers and organizers from time to time take photos and videos at our contra dances and post them online. You'll probably get a sweet profile pic out of it! That said, if it is important to you to be left out of photographs and videos, please let an organizer know so we can pass the word to folks who are likely to be documenting the fun.
Let’s Talk!
You get to choose how you dance. You don’t have to feel uncomfortable. Speaking up helps keep the community awesome.
If you need anything, if you have concerns, if you feel uncomfortable — talk to us. This form goes to the Portland Intown Contra Dance board. We’ll listen and take you seriously.
We ask for contact information so we can talk to you about the issue. We respect your privacy and won’t share your comments or identity without permission.